We followed our friends to a table in the back and sat on black plastic chairs assembled along three small tables that had been pushed together. Looking around the room where we were seated, I noticed the space felt very strange and did not have the right Feng Shui. I took note of the Days Inn Fiesta Ballroom carpeting, and the fact that the white walls were completely bare. All the tables were 2-person portable squares that had been clumped together in clusters and arranged in a haphazard pattern around the room, solidifying the “I’m only doing this to launder money” and “I decided just this afternoon that a sushi restaurant would be the least suspicious” type of look. The owner had even chose to opt out of the large glossy posters depicting different types of sushi with translations beneath each fish, sponsored by Gekkeikan, Sapporo or Asahi. In fact, the only thing on the walls at all, excluding scuff marks, were white pieces of papers with the multi-colored descriptions (likely written in the markers that smell like the fruit related to its color) of their “fun” roll selection—including the Stanford Roll, the Google Roll or the Micro Soft (shell crab) Roll.
Before my discerning eye could note any more blatant character flaws with the establishment, the lights dimmed, Fergie blasted over the sound system, and a fog machine began spilling out gasses above our heads. A table of eight women began to clamber to the top of their chairs. Standing tall and proud with multiple glow stick necklaces and one special lady with a tiara (oh yes..), a waiter began chanting with them “When I say SAKE you say BOMB—SAKE” “BOMB” “SAKE” “BOMB” “ICHI NI SAN, SAKE, SAKE, SAKE, BOMB!” And the ladies began to chug.
The idea of eating any sort of food at this sushi-sideshow-strip club began to nauseate me. I ordered white rice and something tempura. The less my food was manhandled in the kitchen, the better.
The meal soon arrived, and for the first time in the history of our relationship the bf and I both fought for the bowl of white rice. I mean, I am not a royal snob—I can appreciate a hole in the wall taqueria or a lobster shack with no plates or silverware, I mean I love dive bars–but this place was not divey, it was just disgusting. There were no redeeming features to overshadow the blatant health code violations, and I knew with clear certainty that I would end up the next morning on the pot and moaning.
Unless you are searching for a trashy fly-by-night sushi bachelorette bar, where the only reason to step foot inside is for cheap sake bombs and today’s best mix of R&B and Hip Hop, then I would highly recommend eating elsewhere.
To be specific, my highest recommendation goes to Naomi Sushi (http://www.naomisushi.com/) in Menlo Park (it’s right on the El Camino and only minutes past University Ave), where you can holler orders for Sawara and Aji and Kanpachi at the master sushi chef behind the bar. Buy him a few beers, and his cuts of fish only become more masterful. Do the omakase if you’ve got the time, because at $40 it is a steal, or opt for the super $55 option. Additionally, their sake rocks. Get the chilled house sake, or request a more aromatic junmai that drinks like a daiginjo–my pick is called Nihonjyo (translation is “castle”); either way you’ll have your sake poured generously into a masu (square drinking vessel) and tasting delicious. They always have some great unknown Japanese bottles, and sometimes hold sake tastings and pairing nights!
If you want to go even more high class, Fuki Sushi (http://www.fukisushi.com/) in Palo Alto (also right on the El Camino) will be sure to delight. Their fish is wonderful, their agadashi tofu – incredible, their specials- amazing, and their sake–delicious. Their sake list is pretty good, with a smattering of different regions and flavors. I usually order a light nigori (Cabin in the Snow, in particular), and pair it with their wild salmon nigiri. They also get bonus points because the servers wear kimonos. Watch out for long lines on the weekends.
For a real steal, check out Sushi Tomo (http://www.yelp.com/biz/sushi-tomo-palo-alto) on El Camino Way; The sushi is the definition of basic (don’t expect any specials) but you get a lot for your money; the fish is fresh and flavorful, and the restaurant is clean. I would recommend their handrolls (spicy tuna is delicious! or get the eel and ask for them to put avocado in) . They have a simple but effective sake selection, including your basic Ozeki’s and Takara’s–but from Japan, not California. Be sure not to go to the one on University Ave, because it is largely inferior.
For a real sushi dive, with some killer unagi, check out Brown Rice Sushi, tucked away on a side-street off California Avenue (http://www.yelp.com/biz/hommas-brown-rice-sushi-palo-alto). There are a handful of tables, and only two guys working behind the counter. Don’t be fooled by it’s appearance–this is a diamond in the rough. Be smart and call ahead so you won’t have to wait a half hour for your order. Get anything with their barbecued eel and also order their Special Brown Rice Salad. Skip the overly salty miso soup served in a styrofoam cup. This place is delicious and hilarious at the same time. Order ahead, pick it up and enjoy it at home with chilled bottle junmai-shu.
